Outside my window, the weather is cold with snow drifting slowly down as if suspended in air. Beyond the window, I see my future yet I’m stuck here in the present, caught in the past by my own emotional tangle. But every tangle we make, it’s our duty to untangle it ourselves. If we were able to tie a knot, shouldn’t we know how to unwind it too? If you are careful, watchful, and aware of what you do, you are not afraid to make mistakes because you know what steps you took to get to that point so you won’t take it again.
When the past comes sniffing around at my heel, I find it difficult to see the future. It fogs the window, pulls me back to relive all the happy moments but I’m reminded of disappointment as well. Sharon says I’ve lived in the past already. I’ve already been through it and I know what to expect. And here, I have a chance to open my window, lean out and taste the unknown. Wouldn’t I want to reach out to the unknown? It could be better than the past. It could be worse. I won’t know until I’ve tried and I would regret not knowing it when the past can’t even make it worth it to stay.
The past becomes a test for my determination to pursue my future. I have to remind myself, the past hasn’t given me a good enough reason to stay. It hasn’t proved that it’s changed. It’s still the past…the same past that confuses me, bewilders me, and does not complete me. Instead it’s the unknown that offers me the hopes and dreams that I had long ago buried.