What is stable in a vow these days? Would the person you’ve loved for most of your life be there for you until you die? For richer or poorer, in health and sickness, til death do us part…what are those meanings? To love, to honor, and to obey…what do they mean when the divorce rate in America is 50%? How could half of the people in America give up on vows? Should it be called vows then? Shouldn’t it be called temporary agreement until something is better?
I watched my parents end their 20 year marriage. I watched as the ideals I dreamed of, hoped for, and expected crumble within a matter of a few years. What is marriage? What is a relationship? I admit that sometimes, I’m scared shitless of it. I’m scared that the person will walk out, will cheat, will leave me, and will do things I can’t predict in the future that will hurt me. What is the price you pay for something that is as fleeting as the wisp of clouds that roll over your head?
How do you base a life with someone on vows when you’ve seen in your own life it wasn’t taken seriously? How do you enter a relationship when you see everyone else’s fall apart? How can you trust that the other won’t walk away?
The more I question it, the more I realize it’s confidence, and like Judi says, it’s faith. Confident in myself that I’m good and I deserve the best. Confident in the other person that he is good and worth it so that he know he is good for you and feel secure with you. A partner wants the other to know that even without him, you can live on yet still have that trust from you, know you are being true to yourself, and accepting the happiness as it comes.
The future can be a stormy sea, a black abyss, a calm breeze. Who can tell? Yet we live on, we wake up each morning, and we sleep each night. We don’t let the fear of tomorrow stop us. And when I look at relationship, no matter how scared I am, I know it’s a leap of faith to walk in hand with it and jump into that unknown territory. Either I am beaten by the unknown and cower away or I can stand up to it and believe that I can do it. If it doesn’t work out, I can just wipe it off and start again. It’s messy, it’s painful, and it’s time-consuming…but tomorrow doesn’t wait for us. We have to make a run for it.