Why Couples Are Out Matchmaking Their Single Friends

Do you ever notice as a single person invited to dinner partys or drinks, you feel like it is all in the guise of being set up or offered a platter of men (female writing here)—most of which turn out to be rotten or just not suitable to your taste palate. You get to these event and suddenly you are overwhelmed with the desire not to care but also be alert and on the prowl. “Mr. Right could just be here any moment,” your friends entice you to these events and to stay stuck at a lame party when the whole time, you’re thinking you could be snuggled in bed with Netflix. Instead, when I go, I end up feeling like an awkward teenager walking into a school gym transformed into some silly themed dance, hoping someone—good grief, anyone!—would ask me to dance. I felt nearly as pathetic as Samantha mooning over Jake in 16 Candles.

We’ve all seen it in movies, plays, and reality when friends try a hand at matchmaking. “Oh, you’ll really like him. He likes arts and he reads like you.” OooO. He has eyes and he’s literate. At some points, people have accused me of having too high of a standard. I’m only looking out for myself is what I think. So armed with these random obscure facts about you, couple friends intend to shoot down a potential mate and drag them up to your feet.

I rarely ever see single friends jumping at the chance to set up another friend. Most time, they are sampling those goods themselves. I have a hard time dating someone my friends already dated, made out with, hooked up with, etc. It all feels rather incestuous, considering there are 7 billion people on this planet. Couldn’t I just meet someone who hasn’t been with my friends?

And so the arduous task of matchmaking falls on the couples (happy or not). And why is that?

1. Living Vicariously Through Single Friends

This is often the case when couples set up friends. They enjoy hearing horror stories or these fluttery first moments (often quickly fading into nothingness). They are often bored with their own love life that they need to feel something even if it’s by incurring dramas on others. Often, these are the worst set ups. Please stay away from unhappy friends who just want to hear your dating life.

2. Newly, Formed Couples = New Pools of Mates

OMG, finally, a single friend has snagged someone. And once your wingwoman, she is now attached to someone. So as a couple, they know you’ve been on the prowl and start badgering their significant others for potential singletons. The pool of potential mate has suddenly enlarged! But often times, that’s not always the case. Mostly, this person is the last of his or her friends who is single. That pool of eligible single men are few and far between. And the ones that are single, well..for the most part, you’d be warn away from. There’s a reason for the lengthy bachelorhood. So you get a scant few set ups with non-potentials but you’ve got to hand it your couple friends who are trying.

3. Just Because They Want Their Friends to be Happy

Okay, it seems cheesy but it’s true. Couples in love just want to infect others with their newfound joy/bliss like some sort virus. They think they are spreading the joy and want others to feel what they feel. It is like a slap to a single person’s face and one can only be bitter to a point before suddenly you no longer want to talk to this person.

Relationships often change people. It is inevitable. At one point in life (or maybe several for those serial daters), single friends are like glue–all chummy and disavowing the opposite sex. Then suddenly, they are in a relationship and they wants others to be as happy. They know when someone is looking because they were right there with them on the prowl. So they try to hook up single friends whenever they can.

In any case, I’m always grateful for the set-ups. Even if it’s a bad one, there’s always a story you can share, laugh, and cry over. So maybe there are some ulterior motives to matchmaking from couples. But at the end, it’s nice to know someone is trying to help you on your road to meeting Mr. Right.


  1. Fia says:

    OMG this article is hilarious. I ceased my matchmaking a long time ago when it only ended with awkwardness among myself, my friend and the intended Mr. Right. I recall a friend made a comment right in front of Mr. Right, “You think HE’S my type?” Let’s just say the couple’s dinner turned out very wrong indeed and I ended up looking even more of a fool.
    ‘Soulmates are destined for each other’ and I gather they don’t require a friend’s help either haha.

    1. Lina Em says:

      Sometimes, even soulmates/destiny needs a little hand, don’t you think? You just have to create the moment, the time…and the rest is up to the people. hehe

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