I love flowers. I adore the smell, the feel, and its beauty that last so minutely in a span of our life. Once plucked, it withers and shrivels, disintegrating back into the earth it came out of. But even without touching, it’s just likely to die like all life on earth. Yet, I am enthralled and seduced by them.
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Bucket List (revised) 2012
We’ve all made bucket list, mentally or physically. We may even buy books about “1000 Places to Visit Before You Die” or do as many crazy things as possible if we are to live so short.
I made one when I was younger and the list went on and on and on. As time passed and I aged, I realized that I did many of the things on my list: read all of Jane Austen’s novel, become a designer, ride a horse, see a meteor shower, visit Paris, be kissed passionately, etc.
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2012 Resolutions
A new year, a new start, new goals to aim for. Realistic goals. They are always saying, make sure you make realistic achievable goals that YOU can strive to fulfill. Saying you’ll lose 100 lbs is not achievable if you don’t exercise or only go to the gym one month. It’s a commitment and willingness to change your life around. Sometimes, I question why challenge yourself to only 40 days? That’s nothing in the span on one’s life. You’ve got to make a plan that you know you can go through with or else you’re cheating yourself. And despite Cartman saying people cheat to get to where they are in life, I would like to hope that isn’t what you would do to yourself.
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2011 Resolutions in Retrospect
What a year! 2011 has been a decent year, if not a busy social year indeed. I always say that I’m anti-social but I find myself going out every week whether it’s to meet friends for dinner, drinks, or just to go see a movie! But I was conscientious about the goals I set for myself this year. I made sure to make a short VERY SHORT list of goals because I wanted to actually achieve them.
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Bad Boy, you? I Don’t Think So.
To me, Mr. Rochester is the epitome of a bad boy. Oh, I know there are plenty of them bad boys littered throughout history and literature. James Dean, Warren Beatty, heck, even Marquis de Sade. We all have our fetishes and desire but there’s something about bad boys, and I don’t mean the guys who beat you up because they have a small dick or small brains (that’s not a man, barely human!). What I mean is the one who throws caution to the wind, reckless, and spontaneously wild driving you into the sunset. One taste of them, you’ll either swear by them, or completely swear them off. As the saying goes, don’t play with fire if you’re not ready.
What makes them so irresistible? Don’t we just want nice boys who make us laugh? Sure, some women want that stable healthy relationship. Maybe it’s an age old desire from the Victorian age or cro magnum period where we want to be ferociously kissed out of our wits and swept up a red carpeted grand staircase in the arms of Rhett Butler like some brainless bimbo. Ah…I, too, have my weakness.
So after long, thoughtful reveries and memory lane, I compiled a short list of what makes it to be a bad boy.
He gives off that hint of danger
At a school dance, that boy who lurks in the dark bleachers, prowling casually, aimlessly, too good to be there but one look from him, you run into the dark, eager to do some dirty forbidden deed.
He doesn’t do anything but everything seems to do him
Such things as women, jobs, etc…arrogant bastard he can be sometimes.
He is independent
None of that mother loading crap. If he is still living at home, I don’t care if he has slept with a million women, he’s just a big baby who can’t afford or is a coward to earn his own ways. But when a man doesn’t have any thing that ties him down, the opportunities for adventure are boundless! Ride me into that sunset!
He does what he wants
I don’t mean [South Park] Cartman’s “I do what I want” schpeel. There’s this Thai lakorn, Prisoner of Love (O-M-G, I know, the title is beyond laughable but the show is so addicting), our hero, Hiran wanted to take revenge despite it being completely wrong to do. But he did it anyways. Selfish, spoiled, and stubborn, he’s outrageous but gawd…something about that is such a turn on. A man who knows what he wants and gets, not caring about how it hurts other people. What an asshole!
He scoffs the law
Mr. Rochester didn’t care he had a wife. He was determined to have Jane. Mostly, because he felt the law was tricked upon him and why should he be oppressed by it when he knew what he wanted?
He is aloof
The allure of a man drinking alone without being a pissed drunk fool is more compelling than the fool in front of you trying his hardest to impress and retain your attention.
He is emotionally distant/closed up.
Oh, Rapee from Samee…(another Thai lakorn), how you go through life without giving into any women, no matter the traps they lay on you. You just refuse to be attached to someone. No one can break that ice but the allure, the mystery of what could be underneath all that cold facade intrigues the chase even more.
He is a heartbreaker.
Isn’t there a saying? Reformed rakes make the best husbands. Enough said.
You’ll probably figure out I read too many novels and watch too many Asian dramas.
But like I said, once bitten, twice shy. Bad boys are…a league of their own so play with fire at your own risk.
As a final thought, adventures and intrigues doesn’t take a bad boy to come sweeping into your life to get your heart racing. It just takes someone who’s willing to do it all with you. It’s takes your own willingness and sense of adventure to get there.
Why Couples Are Out Matchmaking Their Single Friends
Do you ever notice as a single person invited to dinner partys or drinks, you feel like it is all in the guise of being set up or offered a platter of men (female writing here)—most of which turn out to be rotten or just not suitable to your taste palate. You get to these event and suddenly you are overwhelmed with the desire not to care but also be alert and on the prowl. “Mr. Right could just be here any moment,” your friends entice you to these events and to stay stuck at a lame party when the whole time, you’re thinking you could be snuggled in bed with Netflix. Instead, when I go, I end up feeling like an awkward teenager walking into a school gym transformed into some silly themed dance, hoping someone—good grief, anyone!—would ask me to dance. I felt nearly as pathetic as Samantha mooning over Jake in 16 Candles.
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Lowell Through the Eyes of a Traveler
Bridge over the Pawtucket Canal
Sometimes, I feel like I exaggerate my high school years and victimize myself, blaming everyone else for my misery, angst, and loneliness (remember that 30 Rock episode where Liz Lemon goes back to her high school reunion…except, I’m sure I wasn’t that much of an asshole). Going back to Lowell has always felt like I was reliving those memories—those awkward high school years. I do my best to avoid relatives, classmates, etc. But I do leave room to visit a few good friends who have remained an aspect of my root and future.
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Walkway over the Hudson + Minnewaska State Park + New Paltz
At 212 feet tall and 1.28 miles long, [Walkway over the Hudson] is the longest, elevated pedestrian bridge in the world. Is it?
When you live in the borough of Manhattan without a car, you don’t really travel farther than what public transportation allows. I am lucky that I live not too far from JFK or LGA and I work a manageable distance to EWR (you know you’ve been checking those travel sites far too often if you can remember airport codes). But that also means my travel are limited to how much dough I roll in and save. So it isn’t much of a surprise that I rarely go out of the city. Train and cab fare aren’t conducive to savings for a “continental tour” (kudos for you if you know what that means without looking it up).
It was with some grace I have friends with cars willing to drive city folks like me around. I’ve been out apple and pumpkin picking thus far (it is expensive without a car and because it’s such a kitschy thing to do, the farms and cabs really do scalp you) and I didn’t think I could afford another random outer city trip.
So on a crisp, sunny Sunday morning, just as daylight savings took effect, I set off with a few friends to upstate New York. Let me repeat, upstate! That is a wilderness unto itself! Where are all the tall buildings? There are people who feel claustophobic from tight space and those from open space. I fall somewhere in between, mostly fear of socializing.
Drive up to Croton-Harmon on the Metro-North Hudson Line
Armed with a Dunkin’ Donut breakfast sandwich and Starbucks soy chai tea latte (breakfast of a corporate sellout, I know), we scrambled to Grand Central in the midst of NYC marathon and police search traffic. The train ride was smooth with the occasional annoying children behind us probably making bunny ears or funny faces (gawd, I hate kids). I have gone through the whole maternal instinct back to never wanting brats who will suck the life and bank out of me. With relief, our ride ended in less than 50 minutes at Croton-Harmon (Croton pronounced with a long O). Croton-Harmon is a small town fifty minutes express outside of New York City for upper middle class families. There are actually homes with yards, fences, and trees. Despite a snowstorm the recent week, the trees held on to some tenacious golden and crimson leaves while snow banks lined the curb. We stopped for a quick breakfast at a cute diner before heading out to Highland, on the west side of the Hudson river, to begin our minor trek.
Starting our little walk over the Walkway-over-the-Hudson
I had always wanted to walk the Walkway over the Hudson bridge when I had first seen a getaway package on the mta.info site. One mile and half is actually quite a quick walk. Dogs of all kind walked along their masters, bikers go up and down, there are 2 points in which tourists can stop and view across the river on both sides, police drive up and down just to make sure everyone behaved. There was even a cat on a leash that day! It was a beautiful walk, the air felt like fresh woods and cold water, and there was just enough people to keep it busy but not crazy packed like the Brooklyn Bridge.
Leaves over Lake Minnewaska
Overview of Lake Minnewaska
At this point, the sun was slowly descending and we made out way to Minnewaska State Park. Have you seen those movies with lake cabins and hikes up cliffs overlooking some crystal water dark and deep? This was the location. The lake was deep inside what could have once been a quarry, the white stones seemed to be cut in layers. If only one could just dive right off a cliff. I can see why people enjoy living out here.
Only a nerd could see what that said at first glance
I was glad we went back into the town of New Paltz. If Williamsburg could be a city, New Paltz would be it. There were coffee shops for musicians, coffee shops for tech nerds even! We ended up eating at Mexicali Blue where it was town for fish tacos! On blue corn tortilla! AMAZING! There was even a special for ghost chili brownies. If anyone knows, ghost chilis are the spiciest chilis in the world! Good luck downing that!
It was a long day, a long trek. Lots of things to see, lots of traveling in between. As always, leaving New York City is a breath of fresh air (literally, as well), but I was itching to get back into the city, the grimy, smelly, and busy life.
Cinnamon is Considered the Spice of Love
The best part about living in a region with four seasons is the food and the memories they evoke. Drinking peppermint chocolate when it’s freezing and snowing, drinking iced tea or lemonade in the bleeding sweltering heat of summer, and the smell of apples and cinnamon of fall brings all these warm fuzzy feelings. Maybe it’s also because I grew up in New England that I associate food with seasons.
When I read “The Girl Who Chased the Moon” earlier this year, there was this scene where one of the bakers opened the window while she’s baking, hoping that the smell would bring back the one person she lost, hoping they’d find their way back to her. It was such a beautiful idea that I started to do that. Every time I baked, I would open the window or balcony door, the smell drifting out hoping that maybe the man I dreamt of for so long could come my way. He would smell the food I cooked (mind you, they were good food…okay, once in while, I’ll admit I burnt some stuff) and come to me. I used to joke that “he’s just lost his direction. He’ll find his way soon.” I just needed to give him a little help. I would throw a dash of cinnamon on the sweets I baked, knowing that cinnamon is considered the spice of love, and also, I would throw all my love into the food I made. I find love makes food taste better, if not sweeter and richer.
So now that fall is here (even if for a short time), every time I order a hot drink, I throw in a dash of cinnamon. Apple cider with soaking cinnamon stick, hot chocolate with a dash of cinnamon, chai tea or pumpkin spice with cinnamon. It taste bitter when you have too much. But it’s too sweet without it. With the right amount, it gives a nice aromatic smell, tempering it so that it’s a balance of sweet and bitter, just like love can be.
All This Time
The dim candlelight flickered like mournful souls swaying back and forth, throwing their bodies to the ground for passerbys who might chance stop and offer a scrap of food or pity. Please, please, they beg. Have mercy, they wail. They wept like the crying of her heart, the loathsome pitiful creature she was.
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