For a normal 9-5 person, most of us spend 1-2 hours of daily commute. We race out the door in the morning to get to work on time. We race out of the office to get home to spend as much time as possible with our loved ones. But it never feels like enough time spent with your loved ones. So I am a big believer that dinner is an important aspect in a healthy relationship.
When I was younger, school started early, leaving often before the sun came up. I rarely ever saw my siblings or my mother. But the time that we had together was always when we came home. My mother was a big believer in “home before I get home or you’ll be punished.” So we always came home on time to have late lunch and eventually dinner with her. Dinner was ALWAYS home-cooked and eaten in except on Fridays, which were pay days. It was the only time I got to see my mother, got to talk to her, and often argued with her. Even now, when I go visit, dinner is still the only time that we have together to talk, catch up, and bond as a family.
So I strive to build a relationship where dinner is the focal point. It doesn’t have to be a big dinner or home-cooked like my mother’s dinners. But it should be a time you set aside that you are all sitting down away from computers, TV, and any other devices that will distract you. It should be a time to really talk to each other, discuss how the day went, talk about anything under the sun so long as it’s about getting to continually know each other.
When one person decides that they will eat at a different time or will work instead, the cycle breaks and the evening becomes a single person’s activity. It doesn’t promote closeness. It doesn’t help build a relationship.
Dinner gatherings is a time to build that bond and strengthen the relationship. If dinner were alone, it gets rather dull, especially with no one to share your stories with.