I have a penchant for beautifully quiet objects. Contemplative and observant. It’s one of the rules of being a wallflower. Wistful and wishful. Plain and overlooked. But everyone holds some sort of depth. You just have to look for it, if you want to try.
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Monthly Flower Task
One’s love story isn’t always “Girl meets someone, Girl falls in love, Girl fights and gets the person.” It isn’t some sort of fairy tale with happily ever after. It’s normally Girl meets frogs. TONS OF THEM. Girl filters frog. Girl is heart-broken. Sometimes, heart-broken so often, girl thinks, “will I ever have a chance?” Then one day, Girl is given advice by friends, “instead of falling for the same type who’ll break your heart, make a list of what you want. That way, you’ll have a physical memo that you can turn to when you are unsure of the person you’re dating.”
I admit it, I took that advice literally and actually wrote a list. Did I follow it? Not really. It was always in the back of my mind and sometimes, I get so blinded by sunshine, I don’t even remember the list. Recalling it, I had some ridiculous things on it. I don’t recommend making a list for anyone else since some of items are utterly outrageous. For example, my list had “I want a man with an accent, preferably British.” Really? I live in New York City, USA. The luckiest accent I’ll get is the South or New England. Oh, of course, he had to be 5’10” or up, considering the average height of American men is 5’9.5″.
And my other item was “he should shower me with a flower every month.” In a way, this task was meant for him to remember that I am not to be neglected. Gifts shouldn’t be given just for special occasions or as a “I’m sorry” bouquet. My roommate thinks I am crazy to demand so much. Is it? Maybe. But it’s better to know now that a man is willing to put up with one’s crazy antics and expectations than to find out later that he’s just not willing to please you.
Today, I carried my glass of tea with a flower in it and everyone asked about it. When I responded that it was part of my monthly gift, everyone asked, “how did you get your boyfriend to do that?” Mostly, I answered, “a friend told me you’ve got to train them early.” I laughed and added, “he thinks of it as a fun challenge.” It is not to say that it is a one-way gift exchange. A relationship, to me, has always been a two-way street.
Ever since I’ve placed the task on the table, I’ve been getting several great items that I thought was nice to share.
August
Paper Rose
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| From Monthly Flower Task |
September
Solar charged flower
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| From Monthly Flower Task |
October
8-bit flower
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| From Monthly Flower Task |
November
Bookmark + Button
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| From Monthly Flower Task |
December
Grow Edible Flowers
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| From Monthly Flower Task |
January
Wild Hibiscus soaked in syrup
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| From Monthly Flower Task |
February
Fruit Basket from Edible Arrangements
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| From Monthly Flower Task |
March
Desk Daisy Paperclips
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| From Monthly Flower Task |
April
Flowering Tea
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| From Monthly Flower Task |
PS, he does have a British accent and is over 5’10”.
DC Cherry Blossom 2012
If you’re ever adventurous and have the energy and time, New York City offers the chance to go away to a different city for the day with very cheap fares. You can go as far north as Boston or as far south as DC. Even go on a cruise to the marshlands of Far Rockaway. Or as west as the Great Lakes. Of course, it’s a long day starting with an early morning and late night.
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Oheka Castle Getaway
Winter has been tamed, weather-wise, in New York City. If anything, spring arrived earlier than normal. So it was a great idea to take a getaway trip for the night outside the rushing city life.
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Bad Boy, you? I Don’t Think So.
To me, Mr. Rochester is the epitome of a bad boy. Oh, I know there are plenty of them bad boys littered throughout history and literature. James Dean, Warren Beatty, heck, even Marquis de Sade. We all have our fetishes and desire but there’s something about bad boys, and I don’t mean the guys who beat you up because they have a small dick or small brains (that’s not a man, barely human!). What I mean is the one who throws caution to the wind, reckless, and spontaneously wild driving you into the sunset. One taste of them, you’ll either swear by them, or completely swear them off. As the saying goes, don’t play with fire if you’re not ready.
What makes them so irresistible? Don’t we just want nice boys who make us laugh? Sure, some women want that stable healthy relationship. Maybe it’s an age old desire from the Victorian age or cro magnum period where we want to be ferociously kissed out of our wits and swept up a red carpeted grand staircase in the arms of Rhett Butler like some brainless bimbo. Ah…I, too, have my weakness.
So after long, thoughtful reveries and memory lane, I compiled a short list of what makes it to be a bad boy.
He gives off that hint of danger
At a school dance, that boy who lurks in the dark bleachers, prowling casually, aimlessly, too good to be there but one look from him, you run into the dark, eager to do some dirty forbidden deed.
He doesn’t do anything but everything seems to do him
Such things as women, jobs, etc…arrogant bastard he can be sometimes.
He is independent
None of that mother loading crap. If he is still living at home, I don’t care if he has slept with a million women, he’s just a big baby who can’t afford or is a coward to earn his own ways. But when a man doesn’t have any thing that ties him down, the opportunities for adventure are boundless! Ride me into that sunset!
He does what he wants
I don’t mean [South Park] Cartman’s “I do what I want” schpeel. There’s this Thai lakorn, Prisoner of Love (O-M-G, I know, the title is beyond laughable but the show is so addicting), our hero, Hiran wanted to take revenge despite it being completely wrong to do. But he did it anyways. Selfish, spoiled, and stubborn, he’s outrageous but gawd…something about that is such a turn on. A man who knows what he wants and gets, not caring about how it hurts other people. What an asshole!
He scoffs the law
Mr. Rochester didn’t care he had a wife. He was determined to have Jane. Mostly, because he felt the law was tricked upon him and why should he be oppressed by it when he knew what he wanted?
He is aloof
The allure of a man drinking alone without being a pissed drunk fool is more compelling than the fool in front of you trying his hardest to impress and retain your attention.
He is emotionally distant/closed up.
Oh, Rapee from Samee…(another Thai lakorn), how you go through life without giving into any women, no matter the traps they lay on you. You just refuse to be attached to someone. No one can break that ice but the allure, the mystery of what could be underneath all that cold facade intrigues the chase even more.
He is a heartbreaker.
Isn’t there a saying? Reformed rakes make the best husbands. Enough said.
You’ll probably figure out I read too many novels and watch too many Asian dramas.
But like I said, once bitten, twice shy. Bad boys are…a league of their own so play with fire at your own risk.
As a final thought, adventures and intrigues doesn’t take a bad boy to come sweeping into your life to get your heart racing. It just takes someone who’s willing to do it all with you. It’s takes your own willingness and sense of adventure to get there.
Why Couples Are Out Matchmaking Their Single Friends
Do you ever notice as a single person invited to dinner partys or drinks, you feel like it is all in the guise of being set up or offered a platter of men (female writing here)—most of which turn out to be rotten or just not suitable to your taste palate. You get to these event and suddenly you are overwhelmed with the desire not to care but also be alert and on the prowl. “Mr. Right could just be here any moment,” your friends entice you to these events and to stay stuck at a lame party when the whole time, you’re thinking you could be snuggled in bed with Netflix. Instead, when I go, I end up feeling like an awkward teenager walking into a school gym transformed into some silly themed dance, hoping someone—good grief, anyone!—would ask me to dance. I felt nearly as pathetic as Samantha mooning over Jake in 16 Candles.
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Cinnamon is Considered the Spice of Love
The best part about living in a region with four seasons is the food and the memories they evoke. Drinking peppermint chocolate when it’s freezing and snowing, drinking iced tea or lemonade in the bleeding sweltering heat of summer, and the smell of apples and cinnamon of fall brings all these warm fuzzy feelings. Maybe it’s also because I grew up in New England that I associate food with seasons.
When I read “The Girl Who Chased the Moon” earlier this year, there was this scene where one of the bakers opened the window while she’s baking, hoping that the smell would bring back the one person she lost, hoping they’d find their way back to her. It was such a beautiful idea that I started to do that. Every time I baked, I would open the window or balcony door, the smell drifting out hoping that maybe the man I dreamt of for so long could come my way. He would smell the food I cooked (mind you, they were good food…okay, once in while, I’ll admit I burnt some stuff) and come to me. I used to joke that “he’s just lost his direction. He’ll find his way soon.” I just needed to give him a little help. I would throw a dash of cinnamon on the sweets I baked, knowing that cinnamon is considered the spice of love, and also, I would throw all my love into the food I made. I find love makes food taste better, if not sweeter and richer.
So now that fall is here (even if for a short time), every time I order a hot drink, I throw in a dash of cinnamon. Apple cider with soaking cinnamon stick, hot chocolate with a dash of cinnamon, chai tea or pumpkin spice with cinnamon. It taste bitter when you have too much. But it’s too sweet without it. With the right amount, it gives a nice aromatic smell, tempering it so that it’s a balance of sweet and bitter, just like love can be.
Xiao Ker Ai
Yesterday, I bought my first puppy. Seeing him wasn’t love at first sight. Holding him didn’t have that magical spark. I told myself I wouldn’t want a puppy unless it reached all my expectations. But I have an insane expectation of others and myself that nothing would ever reach all of it. Instead, I found myself contemplating the joy of a companionship, the thrill of a possible future, and the fear of all the unknowns in a relationship.
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Vows/Confidence
What is stable in a vow these days? Would the person you’ve loved for most of your life be there for you until you die? For richer or poorer, in health and sickness, til death do us part…what are those meanings? To love, to honor, and to obey…what do they mean when the divorce rate in America is 50%? How could half of the people in America give up on vows? Should it be called vows then? Shouldn’t it be called temporary agreement until something is better?
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The Unknown
Outside my window, the weather is cold with snow drifting slowly down as if suspended in air. Beyond the window, I see my future yet I’m stuck here in the present, caught in the past by my own emotional tangle. But every tangle we make, it’s our duty to untangle it ourselves. If we were able to tie a knot, shouldn’t we know how to unwind it too? If you are careful, watchful, and aware of what you do, you are not afraid to make mistakes because you know what steps you took to get to that point so you won’t take it again.
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